Regular readers will be familiar with my going off on a completely un-food related tangent from time to time, well, I'm my own boss and I have the platform to write about anything I choose I guess, as to whether readers are interested is possibly a different matter.
But this next subject is close to my heart and worthy of a post I think, although minus a recipe.
Last week I came across a disturbing piece of footage, a two-year-old boy was in the care of an early learning centre (nursery, kindergarten) and video surveillance captured him being beaten more than 20 times with a plastic object by a 'care' employee. Another female employee witnessed the whole scene, but did nothing to stop the woman, this was obviously not an isolated incident.
We tend to allude to the idea that bullies are those evil people out there whom we would never associate with and whose behaviour we would never tolerate. Yet in every situation I have come across in life, (school, the workplace, social groups etc) there is always a bully who is supported by an entourage, thus perpetuating his/her behaviour.
When I was in senior school a girl in my class was bullied relentlessly on a daily basis for what seemed like an eternity. The bullying finally stopped when the girl was hit around the head with a bag full of heavy books, rendering her unconscious. The bully panicked and thereafter left the girl alone. But to my shame, I cowered in fear and horror as this vulnerable girl was picked on (as did the rest of the class) and it haunts me to this day. Why didn't I report it to a teacher? Or my parents? I know I would never have confronted the girl and her gang, I was too terrified, but I should have done something!
What that experience did teach me, was never to be complicit in a bullies behaviour ever again, there is no gesture more devastating or cowardly than the back turning away.
Bullies rely on the fear of others and I have witnessed backs turning away in many situations. People often choose to either ignore bullying or worse still, to close ranks with the bully in order to defend themselves. There has recently been a wave of concern regarding bullying/abuse within the care sector (care homes for the elderly, hospitals, nursery schools in the private sector, homes for people with learning disabilities) where the problem is endemic. Under qualified staff on poor wages are given responsibility caring for people with incredibly complex psychological and physical needs, many carers are out of their depth and rather like the dickensian workhouses, atrocities of abuse are prevalent.
Having worked in a 'caring' environment I have seen bullying at its worst. Much of it was subversive bullying amongst the staff, however, a member of senior management would regularly make condescending remarks about certain children's appearances, safe in the knowledge none of the children could respond or tell their parents. Ironically, when I gave the person a taste of their own medicine, she was incandescent with rage.
By ignoring bullies we enable them, whether we indulge in their gossip or wounding sarcasm, most bullies are cowards by nature and we have a moral obligation to our fellow human beings to stand up to them. Bullies can have the power to ostracise us (but who wants to be part of a group of abusers and cowards?) They can make us fear for our jobs, yet if we collectively stand up to them they lose their power. As Roosevelt said: 'Knowing what's right means nothing unless you do what's right.'
'In a world where you can be anything, be kind.'
-anonymous.
Love Donna xxxxx
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