The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One

So, I have received my first Christmas present, a very befitting pink bejewelled apron embellished with the words: Auntie Angel Queen of hotchpotch meals. Angel is a byname I acquired years ago and one used by most of my closest friends (with the exception of those who met me in a working environment, where of course, I used my birth name Donna.) I respond to both names without distinction, I am Angel and Donna equally (although Angel tends to prevail.)

More relevant is the reference to hotchpotch meals. My friend Clarrie, who designed my beautiful apron, knows better than anyone about my obsession regarding wasting nothing food wise. Our history as work colleagues gave her some insight into the ruminations of my culinary mind, but for her the fun really started when she met my son Bert who has been subjected to a lifetime of leftovers, the joke being: the original meal has never been found. Very much a foodie himself, Bert has been known to refer to my hotchpotch dinners as bush tucker trials (sometimes the ingredients are literally such a hotchpotch that nothing is individually discernible.)

Anyway, I was thrilled with my apron and proceeded to hand out my presents. Todd received his usual Christmas pyjamas (I always bought Bert pyjamas at Christmas and he would open them on Christmas eve, he had batman pj's one year which he refused to take off for several days) which naturally for a two year old wasn't overly exciting. However, Todd loved a cookery book I'd given to Clarrie and sat for ages thumbing through it, he was particularly taken with a photo of a salmon terrine which he thought was a 'cake.'

                                    I think we might have a budding chef on our hands

I stupidly missed out on another present this week, my dear little friend Carron had booked afternoon tea at The Sanderson hotel which is an amazing Alice in Wonderland Mad Hatter's tea. I let her down (not for the first time) and understandably she treated another friend in my place.

I appreciate how lucky I am to have a friend who, not only wanted to treat me to such a lovely occasion in the first place, but took it with such good grace when I looked this gift horse in the mouth.

I guess we all assess our relationships from time to time, but particularly so at Christmas when we take out our address books ready to send our Christmas cards. There are certainly a couple of people off my Christmas card list this year, friends who, unlike Carron, have taken umbrage, possibly at something I've said, or not said - done or not done? Anyway, the word 'friend' has become rather void of meaning in a world governed by social media (how can anyone have eleven hundred friends?)

Personally I enjoy Facebook, it's reconnected me to old school friends and distant relatives and is a great form of communication and although we all post banalities about our lives, it's a great vehicle for getting things off our chests. However, the downside is that people can become very antagonistic behind the safety of a computer screen (invariably people who wouldn't say the things they're posting out loud in conversation.) And then there's the narcissism, you know, the people who expect you to 'like' every photo or status update zzzzzzzzzz. Added to which, we're all judging each other by what we 'like' or comment on, and unlike my namesake, I'm no Angel if someone presses my buttons!

There is a very pertinent saying which goes: betrayals rarely come from an enemy! I guess the by product of spending so much time online is that we forget how to navigate real-world relationships, and where once we communicated face to face or by phone (especially if we wanted to resolve a problem) we now text, email or Facebook each other.

True friendship doesn't have to be about grand gestures and if you're only doing something for a friend because you expect something in return, you're doing business, not kindness. One of the nicest gifts I've received recently was from my dear friend Jude who gave me a pot of her homemade fig chutney. This was one of the tastiest chutneys I've ever had and went superbly well with cheese, therefore I felt I must share her recipe.

Fig chutney

Recipe
1kg fresh figs, coarsely chopped
250g brown sugar
150ml malt vinegar
150ml cider vinegar
250g chopped onions
250g raisins
1 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon salt

Place figs in a large saucepan, add the vinegars, onions, raisins, allspice, coriander, salt and pepper
Bring to the boil, simmer for 30 minutes
Stir in the sugar, bring back to the boil, then turn the heat down so that the chutney bubbles gently
Cook for 10 minutes, stirring to keep it from sticking to the bottom of the pan
Bottle in sterilised jars while hot and seal

'There are going to be some people who at some point of your life will become your friends.
And there are some friends, who at some point, will become just people.'
- Anonymous.

Love Donna xxxxxxxx