Marie Von Ebner quoted: 'In youth we learn; in age we understand.' I have spent many hours this summer at Sinah Warren adult holiday camp meeting the most incredible elderly people.
Largely written off and almost invisible, elderly people have so many stories to tell and can be great fun to be around. The ninety one year old lady in the photo had us all in stitches, she hobbled precariously with her stick toward the swing, managed to perch herself atop it and next thing was sailing back and forth like an excited child.
Of all the elderly people I have talked to this summer many have said something along these lines: 'I wish I'd learned to enjoy life on a daily basis and enjoy the moment when I was in my 30s instead of my 60s.'
Of course old age gives people time to do the things that they never had time to do whilst rushing around trying to support a family. They are freer from the demands of society and worldly pursuits such as 'keeping up with the Joneses'.
One elderly chap said to me that he now spends his time creating good memories. 'Young lady' he said, 'your life is blessed with opportunities, it's not about the expensive and big things, but the magic moments that money can't buy.'
And he was right! The challenges of modern day living sometimes derail us on the journey of life, we fail to see the importance of solitude, contemplation and closeness to nature. We've replaced these old fashioned values in our quest for maximum consumer activity, we crave belongings over wanting to belong.
Somewhere around the end of the 20th century, busyness became not just a way of life but a badge of honour. Sociologists say modern life has become an exhausting everydayathon. Being busy has become a sign of status, if you're busy, you're important, you're leading a full and worthy life.
Interestingly, neuroscience has proven that at our most idle, our brains are most open to inspiration and creativity. Of all the people I have spoken with they have reminisced about leisure time which included knitting, gardening, cooking or playing an instrument.
Since giving up a career I have certainly found my creative side, cooking and writing are my main activities but I've thoroughly embraced just 'being'. I feel that I've found more meaning and purpose to life, I can lose myself in a book or in my garden without feeling guilty, with work no longer central to my life I can enjoy simple pleasures. The cost of my freedom is that I can no longer spend money like water, yet far from hindering me, I feel liberated!
Spending time at Sinah has made me reflect upon how simpler life was for the older generation. Whilst many of the people I spoke with never had the material wealth of our generation, they weren't exposed to the frenetic cacophony of modern life. A research of study carried out at the institute of psychiatry at kings college in London found that the constant onslaught of emails, text messages, phone calls and status updates is draining our intelligence.
Also parenting has taken on a whole new meaning, with the pressure for both parents to work long hours, mothers treat child rearing like a job, with targets, multiskilling and 360 degree reviews. Muddling through and making ends meet, which our grandmothers did, has become a thing of the past. Parenting is big business, there is a whole industry out there, TV programmes, websites, magazines and government guidelines teaching parents a million different contradictory ways to bring up their children.
The resounding consensus amongst the various older ladies I spoke to was that they enjoyed being able to stay at home to bring up their children. Far from feeling diminished or unimportant most of them loved being part of a community of mums. One lady said to me: 'There is no job less prestigious than raising your children' she giggled then said 'the pay was terrible, the work incessant, but it's the most valuable job in the world.' Sadly, stay at home mums are often stigmatised and sidelined by career women who choose their friends based on their economic and social status.
Of course many of the older generation will concede their lives weren't all 'beer and skittles' but I think we should contemplate the too-muchness of modern society and realise before we're in our twilight years that 'youth lives on hope, old age on remembrance' build your memories not on how busy you were (so are the ants) but what are you busy about?
'None are as old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.'
- H D Thoreau
Love Donna xxxxxxxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment